Dear Stampede News,
I’m getting mixed signals from the guy I’ve been going out with. He’s the one who initiated things, so obviously he’s interested, right? But whenever I try to plan something, it’s like pulling teeth to get him to agree to do whatever I say we should do.
He always says he’s busy doing homework or doing something with his friends. When his excuses have piled up a bit, I take it as a sign he’s not interested and stop texting him first. But then, he texts me out of the blue and asks to hang out on a night when I’ve already made plans with my friends.
Sometimes I cancel on friends because I’m dying to see him again. When we do hang out, it’s so much fun and I feel like I’m on cloud nine afterwards. Am I being led on or used or something? Should I keep trying or give up?
Sincerely,
A girl who’s sick of trying to figure out what goes on in guys’ heads.
Dear Lovesick,
Mixed signals are never fun, and it really isn’t your job to figure them out. Relationships can be confusing because people are fickle and their feelings are ever-changing. I am not going to be the one to tell you whether or not this guy you’re dating is interested—it’s his job to make sure you know that—but there are a few things you should (and shouldn’t) do in the early stages of a relationship.
You mentioned how good of a time you have with this guy. That’s great. But please, please, please do not cancel your previously made plans with your friends just to hang out with this guy at his every whim.
You are allowed to be busy. You are allowed to have things to do and not be available to him 24/7. Especially at this stage in a relationship, the guy you’re going out with does not hold priority over your school, your work or your friends. Your time is valuable, and you need to recognize that, so the guy you’re interested in recognizes that as well.
I understand that it can be hard to know whether “busy” actually means busy, or if it means “uninterested”. In this case, and really all cases, communication is key. Communicating your feelings is usually the best move. If you wonder if he’s on the same page as you, ask him if he’s on the same page as you.
I wish I could tell you whether he’s leading you on or if he truly has the intention of moving forward in a relationship with you. But really, he’s the only one who can tell you that. If you don’t know how he feels about you, or what his intentions are moving forward, ask him. I promise it will save you a lot of headache and heartache to simply be open and honest with the guy you’re interested in, rather than keeping yourself up at night wondering whether he cares or not.
Best of luck!
Sincerely,
Stampede News
